22 Nov Why Self Sabotage is so Sneaky

WHY do we sabotage our success?

I was thinking about this the other day as I poured myself another drink when I knew I should just go to bed…

As humans we are programmed to strive for goals because achievement, accomplishment and recognition make us FEEL really good. That dopamine rush is an incentive to make us want to repeat those behaviors.

It’s all about a feeling. The emotional side of our brain can easily take over the logical side of our brains.

The thing is, our brains don’t discriminate between the feel good sensations we get from achieving our goals vs the also “good” feeling we get when we avoid something that seems threatening.

We are more likely to move away from pain than towards pleasure. Crazy, right?

We are wired for survival. Not only physically, but our psychological well being.

Our body treats physical and psychological threats equally and both can trigger the stress response.

So you are doing the things….

• Eating your balanced meals

• Doing your food journal

• Drinking water

• Going to bed earlier

• Drinking less alcohol

And then this sneaky thing happens…

You have a strong desire to do something you logically know isn’t going to make you feel the best or move you closer towards your goals.

• You decide to skip breakfast to “save calories” even though you now KNOW that doesn’t actually work

• You stay up later and sacrifice sleep, even though you KNOW you’ll be exhausted the next day and reach for more sugar.

• You decide to have a few more drinks that you KNOW won’t make you feel good the next day.

Changing our habits to allow us to grow and stretch, can trigger feelings of fear of change or the unknown. 

Our bodies are constantly working towards a place of homeostasis. Achievement  and avoiding threats are two independent sides of the coin. When we feel equally good about these aspects, we feel good about our selves and our over all well being.

Self Sabotage happens when our pursuit of avoiding “threats” overcomes the desire to achieve a goal.

Meaning, LIFE happens. Stress from life pulls us back and we fall back into our old wiring of perceived threats.

The main elements that influence our behavior are a result of our prior programming

• Shaky identity and values

• Internal beliefs about yourself

• Fear of change

• Excessive need for control

These aspects of our personality are typically acquired when we are younger and have been in our identity so long they are subconscious.

Do any of these elements resonate with you?
I would love for you to share with me which behavior from above is one that you are working to re write.

For me, it’s definitely excessive need for control!

Self sabotage is wired within us and can affect not only our nutrition goals but relationships and careers.

The good news is, once we are more aware of our habits and behaviors we can DECIDE to re write this story.

This takes time and practice. Know that this process is part of being human and you are gaining the tools and skills to navigate these situations better and better!

How grateful are you for that??

The best thing you can do after you do something that is in the other direction of where you want to be, which WILL happen as long as you are human! Is to…
Be kind to yourself
Learn from it
Move on
Get back to what we know works for you!

XO
Jennie