11 Feb How to do Date Night with Weight Loss Goals
When all conditions are ideal, it is easier to “stay in the rails” and “be good” with less temptations and more aspects you can control.
But when vacations or trips come, the Holidays arrive, you go to a birthday party, or out for date night, all bets are off! It is a total free for all, and “diet starts Monday.” Or you will just continue the same careless eating patterns for weeks, until you find the motivation to start dieting or restricting again.
This repetitive cycle is what is keeping you from seeing the progress you want and actually learning how to work your nutrition within your life, rather than making your life fit the diet you are on. And then the diet plan you can’t follow anymore, because life!
When one of my nutrition clients asks, what should I get when I got out to eat? Expecting to have to have the most healthy option or a salad. I ask them, “what do you value most from the meal?”
When you go into an experience with a sense of knowing you are able to enjoy the things you want to, you don’t feel restricted and you don’t need to then over eat that forbidden food behind closed doors or when you can’t take it any more.
Eliminating the aspects of the meal you genuinely enjoy doesn’t last. It only perpetuates your poor relationship with food and makes you feel like a failure when you eat the food in abandonment.
My husband and I have been ships passing in the night recently with our work schedules and remodeling a (new to us) house we bought. It was a treat to go out to eat together the other night, enjoy the experience, catch up and have some good foods and drinks without feeling totally stuffed or completely guilty.
I personally value a good glass of wine and the entree. So we split an appetizer, I had half of my huge entree, we skipped dessert and I did have another glass of wine! Maybe for you, the dessert is what you value. Awsome! You can absolutely make that work and adjust other aspects of the meal.
Being able to confidently navigate these situations is key for lasting change, confidence, enjoyment, and never having to “start over” again!
With my nutrition coaching clients, we collect date on the day and the eating experience. Check in with other factors involved in our food choices and circumstances. Gain feedback, identify what worked well and what we could do differently next time. Give ourselves grace, and just keep going!
Tips for Date Night
1. Change Your Language
The way you perceive and label food has a direct affect on your relationship with it. When you are telling yourself you are cheating on your diet when eating a certain meal or foods, you are essentially putting these foods on a pedestal. You are giving them power over you.
If you are deciding to cheat on your relationship, there is likely something missing from that relationship, and it is likely unhealthy, toxic, controlling, and/or all consuming.
So why are we saying we are cheating on something we have to participate in everyday to survive (eating!)?
Food has calories in the form of energy. Certain foods are more nutrient dense, which provide our body with the vitamins and minerals it needs to run optimally. While other foods taste really good and don’t really bring much else to the table besides calories. All of these foods can fit into your life, in a way that feels nourishing and enjoyable for you.
2. Choose What you Value and Build Around that
Think about how you want to feel vs an aesthetic outcome. If you are only focused on a result or number on the scale, this is not motivating enough to make the better choice. We are driven by emotions. When you include aspects of the meal you genuinely enjoy, and then add the nutrients that are missing, you don’t feel like you are missing out and then needing to over eat that food later in isolation. Think about how this choice will make you FEEL later and what you will be able to do as a result.
3. Ditch the All or Nothing Thinking
It’s not the one food or meal, it’s the choices we make after. The one meal is such a small percentage of the total week. The mentality that the one meal has ruined all of your progress, is setting you up to continue careless choices moving forward. Instead, recognize what you could do differently in the future and move forward with the habits that support your goal.
4. Plan It into your Day
Plan ahead fun foods and drinks into your day ahead of time and build prior meals around this. Many of my clients use a food journaling platform and can add foods ahead of time to see where they are at in relation to their nutrient targets for the day. Add the pizza or wine and fit into the mix of your other meals!
5. Remember your relationship is not just about the food
Ideally there are other aspects of being with your partner that you enjoy in Addition to food. While food can be a fun, enjoyable experience together. There are many other parts of the meal and being together that are special. Maybe you were able to have someone watch the kids and have a quiet conversation together without someone else needing your attention. Maybe you got a break from putting the kids to bed and could enjoy a night with less responsibilities and clean up. Maybe you decide to do a different activity together that isn’t food related, like ice skating, hiking, checking out a new area, shopping, going to a movie, show or concert.
What tip are you going to try next date night?