This week I will celebrate my 36th birthday. Gotta love those December birthdays … I have actually despised having my birthday in December to the point I asked my mom if I could change my birth date. Kind of like people change their names, right? She didn’t appreciate this comment.
My mom did go out of her way when I was younger to curate the best birthday parties for me, and she really did.

One of my favorites was a laua theme. She put heaters in the basement so it was really warm. We made grass skirts, sipped fruity drinks and played in the sand. She literally brought the beach to our frigid upstate NY basement. And it was awsome!

As I have gotten older, and had to take personal responsibility for what a meaningful day meant to me. I struggled with this for many years, but have recently started to design a great day in alignment with what I value.

I am not a huge birthday party, ALL the things person. (If you know love languages, gifts are not my #1 language). I appreciate gifts, but am more practical about it, not just more stuff. Words of affirmation and quality time one to one or in small groups, are what really light me up!

What is your love language? If you haven’t taken the quiz before or learned about this, here’s the quiz link! It’s really helpful to know for yourself and your relationships. Because often times we give our love languages to others, but it’s not what they really value. So it’s helpful to know both sides!

During my birthday I really try to take time and reflect on the prior year.

What did I learn?
What are areas I can continue to strengthen?
How did I grow as a person?
What did I gain in my life? 
What do I need to prioritize more?
What do I need to let go of?

The more you start checking in with Yourself, what you actually Want and Value, it just makes life SO much more enjoyable.

Who says birthdays have to be Only cake and presents? If you love that, awsome, do it up! But start to get more curious about what things you actually ENJOY. Not what other people tell you enjoyment or success looks like.

Wanted to share with you 8 things I learned over my 36 years as a human in this crazy world 🙂 and Constantly seeking to learn and grow as person! I would love to know what resonates with you most.

1. Decide What YOU Actually Want

We have been conditioned to have other people tell us who we are. Even from a very young age you were given a label.
“I was always the chubby kid growing up.”
“I was the class clown.” 

These labels can really stick with us and our identity.
But these are surface level.
How do you define yourself?
Yes, you are a mother, sister, daughter, friend etc, but WHO are you?

Get crystal clear about what You actually want for yourself, and start acting like the person that has those things.

What is that person doing on a daily basis?
How does she show up in the world?
What time does she go to bed 😉

2. You always have a Choice

You have the ability to choose what you want. Often times the decisions we need to make in order to grow are hard, scary and we are afraid of failing or disappointing others. These are real and normal feelings to have. But don’t let them stop you. Fear doesn’t come without desire and means you truly care. You always have a NEXT decision to make that is in alignment with who you are and what you want for your life.

3. Fear of Failure is the Biggest Limiting Factor

Once you learn failure is necessary for growth, it’s all feedback, and it opens Everything up! Failing and falling never gets easier, you just get stronger and can bounce back faster. It is ultimately what breeds success! Get use to failing. But always learn and identify what you could do differently next time.

“If you didn’t get what you wanted, you got the lesson that you needed.”

4. Growth Can Feel Like Loss

In order to continue to evolve, we have to shed layers that are no longer in alignment with where we are going. Shedding these layers can feel like tremendous loses that we have to give ourselves time to grieve. Feel it! Talk about it. Once you allow yourself to feel sad and grieve this, it gives you space and freedom to keep moving forward.

5. Someone Is Always Going to have Something to Say

This is a big limiting factor in making change. We don’t want to “hear about it” from other people. Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and feelings. But don’t let this deter you from staying true to yourself. You can respectfully redirect the conversation. Once you develop confidence within yourself and what you actually want, this shines and people don’t question you! If you are making someone uncomfortable with how you show up for yourself, this is simply their own insecurities being projected onto you. Be true to your values and respect for yourself, and you will always win.

6. Lead by Example

Be the contributor of inspiration. Do the things that support you and your goals.
Be the person that brings a healthier option to the party.
Be the person that wakes up early on the weekends to take time for yourself first.
Be the person that takes time to prepare feel good foods on the weekend vs going to brunch – when you know this is ultimately going to help you feel your best.

When you just do the things, without pressuring anyone else to do or act in a certain way. They will be inspired by you and it’s amazing the changes they will start to make by you modeling these behaviors!

People want to have what you are doing. The difference is you are Actually doing it. DURING the Holidays, during the winter. You are showing up for yourself and learning to navigate these opportunities rather than waiting for a ‘start date,’ which always gives you an ‘end date’ for free 😉

7. It’s not about what it is, it’s how it makes you Feel

It is not really about the thing we are striving for. It is the feeling we thing we get from that thing. How can you create these feelings in your life now?
How can you appreciate and respect yourself now?
How can you find joy in the simple parts of your day now?
When you are content with now, more will come!

“If your joy is only attached to the wave, it will only last as long as the wave. If the joy is in the ocean, it’s reminded in every wave.”

8. Take Personal Responsibility

Rather than looking at all the reasons why you can’t, look at all the ways How you Can!
Stop blaming other people, your job, your family. While these circumstances can make things more challenging, you are ultimately the only one that can show up for yourself and make it happen.
Be intentional with your time, ask for help in areas you need more support, figure out strategies to support your weaknesses and capitalize on your strengths.

So proud of you for continuing to show up for yourself in all seasons!

Reach out if I can do anything for you.

XO
Jennie